NOTE: Here’s the first chapter from my new book. Happy reading!

The Revolution Party began with a single goal (equality), and achieved power without lopping off a single head, the suggestion of its name be damned.

Sensible North Americans questioned its methods (calm-headed rhetoric and rational argumentation, in case you’re interested), but none could fault its results.

The Monitors were delivered on a Sunday evening, two weeks after the election, while most people were home. They came protectively wrapped in bright pink boxes, like the gift they were meant to be.

“Open Me!” the packages read. “Easy installation!”

And the directions contained inside were indeed simple:

Get up-to-date news and commentary, safety tips, and vital instructions from the comfort of your home! These Monitors will replace your worn-out TVs. They are voice-activated—no touchscreen or remote necessary!

Simply hang them up with the included nails. They’re always on, and contain a lifetime battery!

Where should you hang them?

You should have received one 20” Monitor for your kitchen, one 15” for each bedroom, one 12” for each bathroom, and a 60” for your living area. Call 1-9999-MON-ITOR if your shipment is damaged or incorrect.

Happy Monitoring!

Since all television and radio transmissions ceased the day the Revolution took office (eh, atmospheric interference, increased carbon dioxide density, you know), North Americans were eager to throw the old technology out.

According to government records, 94% of the Monitors were installed the night they were delivered.